Dear Mom,
Nine years ago I went to the hospital to visit my mom while she was going through her second round of chemo. When I walked into her room she was nowhere to be found. At the nurses station I asked if they had seen her. They smiled and pointed down the hall. The Oncology ward happened to be right next to the Maternity ward with the newborn nursery. I slipped through the doors and found my mom standing in front of the nursery window in her hospital gown and IV drip. While patients were not allowed to be in the maternity ward, she had become such good friends with the nurses that they let her watch the new babies arriving as a way to pass the time.
Despite her fragility I remember my mom absolutely glowing. “Look how beautiful they all are,” she pointed. “I still remember when you and Ryan were that small.” Here she was marveling at life coming into the world while fighting for her own. That’s exactly the type of person she was. Finding light during the darkest of struggles. She spun our despair into an appreciation for life and love. Until the end she remained our teacher, our rock, our Karen.
You are the love of my life and my greatest heartbreak. Each year I continue to live in memory of you, even through the moments where preserving feel impossible. But like always, “I can, and I will.”
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