Earlier this month I went to the weddings of two of my closest friends. I’ve known them since I was 18. There are four of us in our group. Girls that traveled Europe together as college students in 2016. 10 years later, we reunited in Europe to watch half of us enter a new chapter. Holding my friends’ hands as each bride walked down the aisle, there were a million different emotions and one important reminder: to love and be loved is the greatest privilege of being.
Love has no single definition. It takes infinite forms. Endures through time and beyond death. Shapes us into who we’ve been and who we’ll become.
I spent four days traveling Portugal alone after the weddings. One of those nights I sat in a restaurant filled with people from different parts of the world. I observed them. Listened to them. There was love all around me. The group of friends laughing. The two girls taking photos of each other. The couple putting food on each other’s plates. I couldn’t translate their words. I didn’t need to. Love does not need a common language to be understood or felt.
Love has its flaws. Choosing love can be painful. Difficult. Love is being honest about what hurts you and knowing sometimes you’ll hurt others. Love is understanding disappointment is natural and not fatal. Love is more than a feeling, it’s hard work. Know that love is not without risk. Sometimes it’ll be the hardest risk you’ll ever take. It’s believing that love is worth the risk. To sit in that fear. You can’t move through life loving without fear. Fear is what signifies there’s something meaningful to lose. What matters is not letting fear keep you from loving.
Love is showing up on days when you’re tired and it would be easier not to. Love is the languages of lives with different stories coming together to learn a new language of their own. Love is exposing yourself to the rough edges of the world until it shapes you like glass in the ocean. Love is knowing those waves have disappointment, loss, and anger woven into them. That sometimes you’ll get knocked down so hard that you lose all the air in your lungs. They’ll also push you back into the water so you can learn just how resilient you are when swimming.
I am the product of two people that loved each other deeply. I am the sum of every person who has loved me since. Many of the things I love about myself come from these people. Pieces and habits and memories and phrases all collected and all remembered. I take these people with me even when they’re gone. These four women and many others have loved me through every season of life and every version of myself. They hold me accountable to my potential and strength when I can’t see them on my own. They have challenged me to confront myself with honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable. For their love I am grateful. To love them I am honored.
I know I haven’t met all the people I will love in my lifetime yet. I can’t wait to meet them. But I am also reminded that the most important person you will ever need to love is yourself. To have grace and patience. Love is knowing you won’t always be the best version of yourself – and believing that version still deserves to be loved.
I will learn new ways to love. Feel new ways of being loved. I will be disappointed and I will take risks and sometimes I will lose. What an exciting idea. The opportunity to love more and deeper time after time is such a privilege. To each person who took the time to read this. I wish for you to be known. To be seen. To love. To be loved.
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